Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Syrup

Mitt Romney won the Michigan primary tonight proving exactly why Michigan is the most dysfunctional state in the union. If Michigan were a person, they'd be put on "suicide watch."

Detroit has lost fully 50% of their population. Unemployment is the highest in the nation. Corruption rivals levels found in third world countries. And Michigan routinely enacts legislation that would drive any business from the state while raising taxes to certifiably insane levels.

And Mitt Romney, after completely changing his core values for Iowa and then changing them again for New Hampshire, put on an entirely new persona for Michigan, but this time it worked.

Romney became "Young Doctor Kildare." Boyish, Handsome. And dispensing the latest "miracle cures."

They say a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down, but Young Doctor Romney simply left out the medicine entirely, feeding heaping spoonfuls of sugar to the voters of Michigan. He promised a chicken in every pot and a new car factory in every town.

Just swallow Romney's magic elixir and you'll be young, good looking and irresistible to the opposite sex.

Unfortunately the only person that got well was Mitt Romney. And tomorrow he'll leave the state, shed his white Doctor's coat and probably try to become a "Southern Baptist Preacher," Brother Mitt, for the voters in South Carolina.

His promises of a miracle cure for Michigan will be forgotten.

But Young Doctor Romney wasn't the only person dispensing sugar tonight. There was enough syrup at the debate in Nevada tonight to induce a diabetic coma.

If tonight's long heralded Nevada Debate was a championship boxing event, we would have to assume Barack Obama threw the fight.

It's one thing to call a truce in the race war; it's quite another to concede defeat and surrender the troops.

Hillary looked Presidential. Obama came off like a star struck teenager.

There was more syrup in the debate than at your neighborhood House of Pancakes. Whenever Barack wasn't pouring syrup on Hillary, Hillary was copying the Young Doctor Romney prescription and pouring syrup all over Nevada.

Hillary told the people of Nevada exactly what they wanted to hear. Of course Nevada has all the wealth and prosperity that Michigan lacks. And Hillary was well prepared and had the facts and issues at her fingertips. But promises flowed freely off her lips, just like syrup.

At least I felt like she was a real doctor, capable of dispensing real medicine if the situation had warranted it.

4 comments:

Vigilante said...

Wizard, as far as the debates are going, I'm debating whether I'll watch another one during the primaries. It's becoming too much of a spectator sports event.

As far as Michigan is concerned, I have to say I swallow all of the syrup the GOP candidates dished out about the American auto worker being among the most productive in the world. The only thing that stands between them and American motor companies from reclaiming their market share is a willful national government dictating high CAFE standards. I'm sure American ingenuity can produce anything we, as a collective consumer, demand.

the WIZARD, fkap said...

What a surprising response from the eternally vigilant vigilante.

The certerpiece of your favored candidate Barak Obama's Energy Strategy is to raise the CAFE standards further to reduce dependence on foriegn oil AND to clean the environment.

This is not unexpected from the Democrat Party and it mirrored by Edwards and Clinton.

It is Bush that has largely let the marketplace decide on fuel economy standards and has been roundly criticized by Dems for his failure to mandate CAFE increases.

When either Obama or Clinton is President next year you'll see massise increases in federally mandated regulations on the auto industry and federally mandated increases in the CAFE standards.

By the way, Mississippi has had a huge increase in new jobs during the last four years (50,000 new jobs,the biggest
increase in state history according the NPR this morning, and all this in spite of Hurricane Katrina) with the huge, state-of-the-art NISSAN Auto Plant as the cornerstone of the state's resurgence.

The secret to Mississippi's success was lower taxes, fewer regulations, a huge education and retraining program for factory workers hurt by NAFTA, and large increases in public education spending.

In other words, the McCain perscription, roundly rejected by Michigan voters, has brought health and prosperity to Mississippi.

the WIZARD, fkap said...

I'm not sure whether to laugh or to cry.

Ann Coulter endorsed Mitt Romney tonight. Here's the link.

Vigilante said...

I read on some conservative blog that raising the CAFE standards would make each car made in Detroit cost $6,000 more than otherwise. Is that the case in Mississippi? Is it the case in Japan? McCain said the auto workers in Michigan are the most competitive labor force in the world? Is that another lie? Why can't Michigan labor produce green autos at a competitive price?